Desperate
by aaronlisa
Summary: Of course, it didn’t mean anything to her.


Title: Desperate

Author: Sweetness ()

Fandom: _Dark Angel _

Pairing/Characters: Max Guevara/Alec McDowell

Rating: FR13

Disclaimer: _Dark Angel _belongs to James Cameron, Charles H. Eglee and company.

Prompts: 5drunkfics - #2 (drunk), un_love_you - #12 (I'm drunk), 2x5obsessions - #3 (wicked truths), 15_song_tiles - #14 (right place, wrong time.)

Notes: Set during Season Two, sometime after 2x11 "The Berrisford Agenda."

Summary: _Of course, it didn't mean anything to her._

Word Count: 738

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Losing Rachel for a second time caused him to spiral out of control. He tried to keep it together when he was around Max and the others, but when at night when everyone went their separate ways, Alec found himself unable to stop the pain. It seemed natural enough to go to Crash or any other run-down dive of a bar that he could find so that he could drown his sorrows in cheap tequila and beer.

When Max found him at Crash one night well past closing time, attempting to drown his sorrows with an almost empty bottle of tequila while the bartender and waitresses cleaned the place up, she didn't say anything. Instead she took him home. He can't remember much about the motorcycle ride from Crash to his apartment. All he remembers is the crisp and cold air hitting his face and his arms tight around Max's waist.

Of course, it didn't mean anything to her. Instead she had lectured him about how it was wrong and how he needed to find a healthy outlet for his grief and frustration. It struck him as odd that she was telling him this when she seemed to pine for Logan but Alec wisely kept his thoughts to himself. And every night afterwards, Max would find him in some bar getting drunk no matter where he went and she'd take him home.

A month and a half of nights where Alec has drunk himself to the point where the thoughts faded into white noise and the pain is nonexistent and his white knight on her motorcycle comes and rescues him. And then one night, Max doesn't show up and everything seems to come crashing down on him.

Once again he's at Crash drinking tequila and beer, waiting for her to arrive to tell him to stop it. He's tired and he's ready to talk but Max never walks in that door. Everyone else does but not her. He drinks more tequila and chases it down with even more beer until the world seems to be spinning and he can't quite stand straight. And Max still doesn't show up.

Alec is never quite sure how he makes it from Crash to Max's apartment but somehow he does. The minute he's standing in front of her door, he realizes why she didn't show up. Why she didn't come to save him and he rests his forehead on the cool wood of her door and curses himself. He knows that he should leave because he's the last person that she'd want to see right now but he can't find the will power to leave.

Instead of leaving he knocks the door and when Max opens the door on a snarl, he allows her to drag him into her apartment. He doesn't care that she's angry that he's forced her hand or that tomorrow morning she'll hate him even more. It doesn't even matter that her lust for him is all because of something that Manticore engineered in her DNA and right at this moment, anyone would do it for her.

He kisses her like he's drowning and she's the only person who can save him until she pushes him away. She angrily glares at him and already he can sense just how much she hates him for not staying away but he can't find it in himself to care. Alec doesn't kiss her again and he lets her take control.

In the morning, he knows that he'll probably leave just as dawn is breaking and Max will feign sleep. They'll never speak of this night and what happened, no matter how much they mark one another. He knows that whatever they have between them will never be the same and Max will never try to rescue him from himself but Alec knows that he won't need to self-destruct anymore after tonight.

The truth of the matter is that he'll always need Max more than she needs him. He shivers slightly when she bites his neck and Alec realizes that this very moment between them that's charged with tension and hormones because of their engineering is more honest than any other moment that they have shared or any other one that they will share in the future. He groans her name and captures her bottom lip with his teeth causing her to moan with desperation before she drags him into her room.

**END**


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